Cravings

Oh how I crave something, someone, anything and everything. I'm still in awe of my last fuck you. I truly need to speak up when I get angry and frustrated. I know the key to a more fulfilling life is there. Not to lash out unconsciously but to understand how my anger is a big sign for me to truly take myself seriously. These days I'm so fed up by social media and at the same time I'm hooked. I'm addicted and I don't like it. I'm gentle but stern with myself. This is a work in progress. I want a life, create a everyday life where I'm not online but living a rich life without. I'm soon back to full time work and guess that's going to be a huge help. I'm looking forward to get more money but I dread to have less time by myself. I guess I have to trust life and my own ability, routines and habits. I know I'm way more relaxed and in harmony with myself and life. I choose to trust this process.

And I'm fed up in always trusting. I want hands on. I want help and support. I want and need touch, deep conversation and human, hand on-connection.

I'm opening up for dating and I'm curious on how that will unfold. To meet men again. To allow myself to feel. Not in despair but as an soft opening to let my body guide me. To experience and explore new people. To listen and learn about another life, hopes and dreams.

This curious life. I need to be fucked good. I need to be used good. I need a cock down my throat. I need the permission to adore you and beg for your cock. Something got to give. Open me, let me feel deeply how life gives and supports me. I need to feel it.